Polar Vortex, Peter Vortex, and Phoebe Vortex

Reflecting on my 2.5 years as a stay at home dad:
I know I usually post more pics--sorry for all the writing and thinking this time.  I won't make this a regular thing 

It's been four years since I was home with Phoebe living in Arlington, VA.  After that year, I taught for 2 more years in WBL and have been off for another 1.5 years.  It's been great for the most part, and I don't want to do anything else at this time.  But these last 5 months have been more challenging: Alisa is working a ton more than she'd like, Peter is a very active little boy, Phoebe is learning how to negotiate and thinks everything needs it, and I am starting to feel disconnected from the stimulation of professional life that I experienced for the previous 15 years.

Two weeks ago, after a weekend of me stomping around here like an overgrown man-child, I nearly admitted I can't handle this full-time parenting business.  Not really, but I was being a serious baby.  As always, Alisa is the most patient women (far more patient that she should be with me) so she put up with me until I figured out how lame I was being.  I've also been starting nearly every conversation with my friends and acquaintances with eye-rolls and rants about the nuttiness of our home.  So this entry is an apology to all of you to whom I whine far too much.  And since Alisa's parents are currently visiting, I have a bit of time to think--so it's also a bit of therapy for me.

Last Sunday, during an after church presentation in our fellowship hall, my friend Matthew and I were hanging out in the back with Peter.  Peter ate some banana bread with Matthew and then giggled at Matthew who was playing with him.  As I watched this, I realized that I spend so much of my time negotiating, chasing, wiping spills, removing dangerous things from reach, explaining, and on and on and on--so much time that I forgot how damn fun and cute my kids are.  I needed this little moment to lighten up.

I've been thinking about this since.  This is the blessing and the curse of being home with kids during the coldest stretch of 5 weeks in my lifetime.  Cabin fever is real and hard.  Phoebe get's punchy when she doesn't have regular play out of doors.  She missed a number of preschool days due to cold temps.  I get grumpy when I have to wrestle Peter into a snowsuit, making him miserably sad, just to take Phoebe to preschool.  I long for the days when Phoebe would cuddle with him in the bike trailer and we'd have a nice bike ride to preschool.  Or I could run with them in that stroller!  The thought of getting exercise while transporting kids is so far from my mind with this harsh winter.

But I know I'm not the only parent feeling the pressure from this tough winter.  I know most of you who have kids are chuckling as you read this because you're having fond memories of when your life was chaotic like mine--I know I'm not special.  I've also had many friends remind me that my kids are at the toughest of ages as far as supervision/parenting workload goes.  I need that balanced perspective.

So here are a few great stories from the last week . . .

A couple days ago, I painted Phoebe's nails.  She always wants to paint mine so I let her this time.  She wanted to do orange.  I thought it'd be subtle.  But when I went to the YWCA to swim this morning, I was struck by how blazing bright my toes are.  As Phoebe was painting them, polish was getting spilled on the floor, all over my feet, between my toes.  As I started to tell her to take it easy and slow down, she fires back: "Dad, I'm just a little girl--I'm only 5.  It's not like I've been doing this for years and years and am super good at it."  (this is the result of her asking why I was so quick and good at something compared to her--it's come up a few times--me explaining that I've been doing it so many more years than her).

A week ago, I grabbed the skillet to start cooking a pasta sauce for supper.  I pulled the lid off and found that Peter had been cookin up some letter magnets before.  He loves the pots and pans more than any toys we've ever bought.  Lately, he's been into storing them here.  This is the kind of thing that makes me smile.  And I need to remember that this is great rather than being annoyed by the 10 extra seconds it takes me to dump them back into the play bin next to the fridge.

Last week, Peter decided he wasn't having anything to do with eating the foods we'd like him to.  He stuck to an all dairy diet and swatted, inverted, or threw everything else away.  He'd remove handfuls from his plate and drop them to the floor while looking like this (below), refusing to make eye contact, then periodically turning to point at the leftover pancakes on the counter and yelling at us.  Yeah, boy, we'll just let you eat pancakes because you don't like potato-kale soup. 

But I was nicely surprised at how much fun going to IKEA with the kids would be.  On a Tuesday at noon, it was very quiet.  I needed a stool for my workbench in the basement.  So we had an outing on a cold day.  Phoebe thought it was as fun as a museum with "a lot of different play zones" (her words for display areas modeling kid bedrooms and play rooms).  Here's one such "play zone" they both enjoyed.

In summary, being home with my kids is WAAAAAY harder than teaching middle or high school math.  Thirty-five 14 year olds who don't want to do math for an hour?  Easy.  But this is way more rewarding because it's centered around my love for my family.  This is a massive test of my patience.  And this is why it is good for me. I would not want to be doing anything else.

The next time Phoebe does something that sets me off, like how she always leans up against the screen door and overextends the hinges (drives.  me.  nuts.), I'll just remember the wisdom she shared:  "Dad, I'm just a little girl--I'm only 5.  It's not like I've been doing this for years and years and am super good at it."

So there you go.  I feel better now.  Thanks for reading.  Sorry if I've been a whiner lately.  Love ya all.

Apologies

So what's my excuse for not blogging?  I blame my phone.  With the convenience of taking a picture or video and immediately emailing to grandma and grandpa, I've become a bit careless about the other 3 or 4 of you who like to see our kids.  So, here you go.  It's been a very long winter.  Very long.   This whole Vortex thing just about sent me over the edge.  Even if Peter gets dressed up well, kids just really shouldn't be out and about when the high is 15 below.  Therefore, we've spent many days in the house.  The whole day.  I welcomed school cancellations when I was a teacher and without children.  But when Phoebe's preschool was cancelled the first day after Christmas vacation, I let out a sigh I believe Alisa heard at work.

Enough complaining . . . Phoebe's back in swimming lessons at the Y and loves them this year.  A nice change!  She loves preschool and this brings us to the school shopping.  Ugh.  I kind of wish someone would just assign us with no choice.  Too much choice is just as bad.  But we are grateful that our choices are pretty solid.  We live in a fantastic city where even the status quo is pretty darn good. You can ask us about that later if you're interested.  

Peter started walking a week ago.  He's not killing my back like Phoebe did (I had to hold her hands and walk behind her bent over).  He's ready to go on his own.  He's constantly telling us things in his own language and pointing to help interpret.  More than anything, he's a handful.  When he's awake, he's either demanding to be held or he's getting into something he shouldn't (power chords to electronics are his favorite thing to yank on).

Destruction.  And eating a floor protector.  

Aunt Laura made a puppet theater for us.  

Things were getting pretty silly after an entire day of being
stuck indoors.

Sledding has been great this year.

Transition to Fall

Peter's first camping trip at Wild River.  Kids had a ton of fun.

 We've had a very busy end of summer and transition back into the fall.  We've been tending the garden a ton (canning, chopping, filling the freezer for the winter, etc), Phoebe's back in pre-school, Alisa's busy at work, and I've been trying to squeeze in one last critical project before winter--insulating under our porch (see below).

Peter's busy wrecking things and putting most things in his mouth.  Phoebe has found a new facination with volcanos.

Phoebe's first day of school.

My parents made it for a visit at the beginning of Sept.  It
was great having them here to witness the crazy house
we run around here.

Church directory photo

This pile of dirt made a great volcano.  The Mexican Sunflowers
were the perfect color for lava.

Peter gets many mouth sweeps a day.  Many.

Since our porch is open to our living room, it seemed
wise to insulate.  This involved busting a hole in the block
and wrestling (literally . . .it was comical at points) with rolls
in this tiny space.  

Homebrew with homegrown hops!  Haven't
enjoyed it yet, but those wet hops
make my mouth water just seeing them :)

Biking

So what have we been up to . . . biking.  I posted a picture of my cargo bike in the last posting.  But here is the real purpose to all this.  Phoebe LOVES rides.  Sunday I hooked up the trailer for Peter and had Phoebe on the bike with me and we hit the Open Streets event.  They closed down a major road in our neighborhood for a day of biking.  Phoebe loved it and Peter cooperated.  Today we biked to Lake Calhoun to Phoebe's favorite playground (it's pretty nice . . . ) and had a picnic lunch on the lake.  I haven't emphasized learning to bike herself all that much, but we are definitely building a sense of biking culture in our kids.  They are cool with it as transportation.  And I love not having to park anywhere.  I'm slowly growing to resent cars and driving.  We bought our van a year ago and it now has 3500 miles on it.  1000 of those are from a road trip out to NoDak.  Not bad.

Our garden is slow to produce but we're slowly seeing some red in the tomatoes.  Every time a grape tomato turns even slightly orange, Phoebe eats it before we can consider picking it.  She get's at least a 4th meal throughout the day out in the backyard.  I'm tempted to just send her out there at dinner time and tell her to return when she's full.

Peter's crawling, standing up, and trying to eat anything off the floor he can.  Today he got a dirt clump in the garden about the size of a grape and put it in his mouth.  Ugh.

Chinook Hops: these were planted last year.  Looks like
a good yield!

Phoebe loves our swing set.
A nice addition to the backyard.

At Lake Calhoun. 

Keeping me busy

New steps from some recycled decking from a neighbor.  Ask me later . . . 

 So what have we been up to . . . Our raspberries went from a few sprigs Alisa and Phoebe bought at the garden shop in our neighborhood to this bush.  Our pickings one day above.  We've been getting about that a day.  What a great weed to grow.

I've been brewing a fair amount and just gave my first all-grain batch a shot tonight.  Everyone goes on and on about how that's what you need to do if your a growing brewer.  Whatever.  It was cool and I'll probably continue to do it.  But I haven't been missing out on anything and we'll see the match up since I brewed the same beer with extract.  (read: making one's own stock vs using a bouillon cube.

Peter's standing, crawling, climbing, and continuing to eat everything.  I do half-hourly mouth sweeps.  Today he was enjoying one of Phoebe's ice-cream sprinkles from last night's dessert.

Phoebe learned how to pump the swings herself.  I acquired a swing set from our neighbor. She's enjoying having that in the yard.  

 Alisa's working a lot.  But she and Phoebe have been doing a parent-child art class on Saturday mornings after they go to the farmers market and get some treats.  I'm glad they got that.  Phoebe clearly misses Alisa all week.

I took my college mountain bike and extended it with an Xtra-Cycle.  I love it.  It's a great beast to own.  Recently our food processor died.  I biked to Uptown to get a new one and it strapped in nicely.  A couple walking out behind me saw my bike helmet and said "you got a motorcycle with a carrier for that?" and chuckled.  I said "No, I have a bike."  When they saw me approach my bike, they looked stunned and said "oh, you're serious!"

Yes, I'm serious . . . or very stupid.  I said to Alisa that owning a bike
that hauls creates a constant challenge for any male.  "What can I haul next?!"

Summertime!

 I see it's been 5 months.  Ugh.  Sorry.  So what have we been up to . . .

Peter is army crawling, wrecking everything, terrorizing Phoebe by crawling into her room and trying to wreck everything, and drooling on me so much I always smell like sour milk at all times.

Phoebe is toggling between loving her little brother dearly and wishing "he'd just nap all day" so she didn't have to share time with us.  As I struggle with her strong personality and antagonistic attitude, I realize more and more every day that my mom put up the same stuff from me.  I guess I deserve it.  :)

Alisa is working a lot.  And working out a lot.  She and our friend Shelly bike to the YWCA at least once a week to lift weights.

Andy is working a lot when Alisa is working a lot.  I'm not complaining.  I love being home with the kids.  But teaching middle school math is way "easier" than being home with these two!  :)  I got a break and taught a 2 day course out in Lancaster, CA.  High desert. It was a fun opportunity to teach math without getting a real job.  I hope to teach a few times a year.  I've been brewing a lot of beer and rebuilding my two old bikes.  I made Alisa's high school 10 speed into a single speed fixed gear and I converted my college mountain bike into a cargo bike.  It's been a lot of fun learning how to do some of the novice-intermediate bike maintenance.

The kids and I avoid driving the van at all costs.  Lot's of biking when I can safely transport Peter and if not, I run with them.  Great way to stay fit and not drive!  Other than that, we're gardening like mad!  It's looking good now that we got some heat around here.  Hopefully no blight this year!

$6 Menards Pool!!!

A typical lunch

At Como Zoo when I was on my course in CA

Lancaster CA

Menards buying pool toys and
a dehumidifier for the basement

 We've been hanging around the house . . . a lot.  We're remembering very well the days after Phoebe was born and the downside of a fall or early winter birthday: it's hard to get a newborn/infant/baby out-of-doors.

The sidewalks are full of unpredictable ice, we've had a fairly typically cold Feb (although, can't complain--it's not cold around here), and Peter likes to sleep a lot--but in his own bed.

Anyway, it's been a big change after a couple weeks of Alisa back at work and me home solo with the kids.  I won't complain--it's a great and easy gig, even on the days when he's fussy and she's got an attitude.  But I will say that I can't wait for warmer days when I don't need to wrap Peter in 2 blankets and help Phoebe put on her snowpants just to get out the door to preschool or swim lessons.

Peter's growing up quick!  I've got some elbow/shoulder issues going on from holding the little guy.  He's been giggling a lot and he sleeps more than he's awake.  I forgot about that part, which is nice, but it also makes one realize how little time we spend with our child in their first year.

Phoebe's in love with her little brother.  She wears her Halloween costume daily (but not out of the house; our rule :).  Every day she tells me that she doesn't want to go to ______ (insert pre-school, swim lessons, a friend's house, church).  But once we get there she has the time of her life.  It's great to see her interact with other kids and develop friendships.

It's Alisa's birthday tomorrow.  We had cake at church and I'm making ravioli for her tonight.  She works tomorrow, so we'll celebrate tonight instead.